Fail!

Haha!


I have just rediscovered my blog once again - only 18 months on!


Well, to update: 2011 was a tough year in more ways than one, Our families have (and are) going through some pretty messy stuff in their lives. We are in our final year of Neddy's 3 year Degree at Durham Univeristy studying Theology and Ministry and training to be a vicar. In the summer of 2011 we found out that we are going to serve our curacy in Acomb Parish (south west York) which is amazing news!

Living in York will be fantastic for a few reasons; we will be close to family again - like a 10 minute drive close! I will be much nearer the hospital which will take the strain, cost and hassle of getting to Leeds away considerably. We will also be close to good theatre (Riding Lights Theatre Co in particular!) and along with that, a whole collection of friends who we don't get to see nearly enough. York is also a brilliant and beautiful city to live in and the parish we will be serving in looks exciting and full of adventure!






As you can tell, I'm pretty elated about the move. In all honesty, I'm also looking forward to getting out of Durham. It is sad to say that in some ways, as we have made some very special friends here (although most of them have moved away to serve curacy's too!) It is also a beautiful city in many ways. However, I can't say that living in Durham has been at all good for my health. We live on a steep hill and the city is built on hill which means that I haven't cycled in years (minus the odd failed attempt!) I also find getting around the city very tiring and so am reluctant to do it, which means I need to find forms of exercise elsewhere... this has become a vicious cycle really. The other big frustration of Durham has been that we live in very cold and drafty houses so everyone in our little 12 house community is forever getting ill and passing germs around. Both Ned and I have been ill more regularly since living in Durham.

In 2011 I don't thing my FEV1 blows ever made it above 45% which is a very sobering fact. Over the year this has brought me and my perspective on life down to earth with a bump. Ned and I have to talk about mortality and the 'what if's' because it's much more real now. It was a tough day back in the early summer, when meeting our potential incumbent and his wife for the first time, the wife asked if it was true that I was expecting a baby... of course we laughed it off, but then had to bring up the reality of Ned's priorities in work if I were to get seriously ill... not a cosy conversation! (I am sorry for how bleak this sounds...)


As for our hope for a baby, we are really none the wiser, but I am less well and currently waiting for a bed at Jimmies for mid-January. My blows in the last two visits to the hospital have been around 36%.


So...


After such a depressing forecast where do we go!?


Well, first and foremost - God is good and his love endures forever! He brought me to earth to work on his terms and my job is to work out what those terms are. I am so very blessed to have incredible family and friends all over the country - specifically friends who have gorgeous little children that I may be honored enough to love and care for when we visit! 

(my beautiful God daughter Evielicious just turned 2 years old)

I can tell you that I am rubbish at taking my medicine and this is where my health fails. 


THE CONTRACT


I have made a serious (actual made and signed and everything!) contract with Neddy on 30th Dec 2011 which states that I must do/have/take every bit of physio, medicine, tablet, exercise between now (31st) and 7th January if I want to go on the holiday that we have already booked and paid for (last summer!) with our close friends! One thing I can do is short - term commitment, so I think I will make it through!


After this I will go into hospital for two weeks of the usual and I am hoping and praying that the combination of the 3 weeks of concentrated work and drugs will really boost my blows.


2012 Goals and aims


It seems appropriate to note down what I'm hoping for in 2012 so that, in 12 months time, I can look at what I accomplished (and possibly more importantly, what I didn't manage!)

• I would like to make my health a priority again... this is always a goal but I need to find new ways to make this happen I guess!
• I would like my FEV to be back above 50% (currently at 36%)
• I would like to reach 9 stone and stay there! (currently closer to 8st)
• I would like to make new friends in Acomb and find out what God's plan for me is once I'm back in York
• I would like to achieve some kind of regular solo Bible reading time (I'm rubbish at this discipline too... not great for a curates wife-to-be!)
• I'm just going to put it out there... I would love, love, love a baby of my own. Not much would make me happier.

On that note, I have some medicine to inhale!!!

See you when I see you...

Sarah :o)

July 2010

I am coming to the end of my 2 week stint in Jimmies hospital on I.V's. My breathing has remained stable since January which is reassuring I guess. I was hoping it would improve and I could push past the FEV 1: 50% mark... instead I remain at 45%, steady and consistent.

In April 2007 I as over 60%, the unreachable goal that I aspire to!

What does this all mean? Well, at the beginning of this year I announced to Neddy, my husband, that this year was to be the Lunn year of efficiency! Everything that could be done well, we should strive to do to the absolute best of our ability. On some levels it has helped and on others it has failed spectacularly! But where on the line of success do I place my health?

I guess somewhere around the 55% mark of success. I haven't deteriorated, neither have I pushed my body and achieved the goals I set out for. More importantly... where does God fit into all of this? I keep asking him, do you want me to have a baby, Lord? But I don't hear or feel any sense of an answer. I guess that is my impatience and lack of commitment towards him.

Yet Abraham and Sarah's story keeps cropping up. Sarah Laughed at the visitors suggestion that she would have a baby at such an old age. The odds were truly against her. The odds are against me. I keep trying to align my desires with God's desires for Myself and Ned, but it is so so hard to do when my heart quickens every time I hold another new born baby, created by close friends.

Confused.com

Let's try again!

I have blogged in the past. It was successful when I had a focus and an aim, so I don't quite know whether this blog will be useful, interesting or good! However, nothing ventured, nothing gained!

Beginnings...mid way through

This is an experiment. I have occasionally tried to keep a journal, I've attempted to find a way to record bits of my life here and there. But I often get caught up in actually living it to worry about commenting on it! I think that having a blog could be a good idea to track my health though, I have Cystic Fibrosis which is a genetic disease that slowly eats away at my lungs and digestive system due to an over production of salt in my body. The main problem for me is that I produce a very sticky mucus which cloggs up my lungs on quite a severe level, is also prevents my stomach from breaking down the fats and proteins in my food so I don't get the full benefits of it, (the food!). Find out more about what it really is, here! I guess for me, life is like a game of prevention...like Buckaroo or something...you go though life trying not to 'wake the beast', or catch a cold which will lead to infection and a 2 week cause of Intravenous antibiotics (I.V's). On the other hand however, I have an amazing life with incredible family, friends and doctors who have kept me in fantastic health up until now and I am very grateful to them and God for their care. Spending 2 weeks on the hospital ward is only a rare occasion for me, this is only the second time ever that I have had to stay in for a full 2 week course of I.V's. It is also quite a wake-up call to how I need to look after myself better to prevent having to stay in hospital as an inpatient. Laying on my hospital bed, I can hear the breathless struggles of other patients, fighting to breathe without coughing and spluttering. I don't want to get to that stage where to get up and walk over to the toilet is a15 minute slow motion fight for my lungs to get a little more oxygen, a sombre thought but I'd rather know the reality of my situation. On a more positive note! The intention for this blog is to help me to track the progression and digression of my health for the oncoming years, maybe it will highlight areas where I'm struggling physically, emotionally or spiritually and whether those factors are linked to having CF, the medicine I'm on, the lifestyle I'm leading at that time, etc. And so...